i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Drunk is not a location!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
