Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
