Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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