well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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