She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
