How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
