her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
