Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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