does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
You work out of a Hotel?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
