We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
