she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
