I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
