You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
