he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize