If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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