White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
