I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
