Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
