I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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