To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Everything about him screamed your future.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Randomize
