"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
