Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
