My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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