I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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