Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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