So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
