omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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