If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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