I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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