You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
