you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
