on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
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