It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
