Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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