Is it because I queefed?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Randomize