I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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