apparently the secret to your success is patron
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
