there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
