If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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