My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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