I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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