He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
