Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
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Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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