The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
