I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
