are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
