I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
