You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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