Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
