How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
