the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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