I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
