Dual....:-)
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
