I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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