The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You're like the curious george of whores
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
