After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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