i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize