Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
ttyl tear gas
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
