So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
