i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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