Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
