In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
