Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My brain says no but my pants say off.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
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she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
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i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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