You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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