in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
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